Running The Vandoo has its perks (what?) but one of the more interesting, yet tedious parts of my job here is clearing spam.
You know what? You’ll get spam from any site linked into the web. That’s a given. It doesn’t look like we get spam judging from the comments that appear on the site; we have blockers for that, and they work. When I signed up for this job, it was one of the first things I was told about.
But come on– some of these are priceless.
From the holiday break alone, we’ve received message from such stunning individuals as…
…infant car seats canada
…best toddler car seats
…used car seats
…strollers with car seats
and who could forget
…jogging strollers with car seats
It’s astonishing, really. If these are real people, don’t they get it from the fact that these aren’t being posted? If it’s a machine, couldn’t they think of cleverer names? Also, if you’re driving around using a car seat, why do you also need a jogging stroller? You’d never need both at the same time, so how are you advertising a legitimate deal? These people aren’t as sneaky as they seem.
Comment poster oak flooring posted the following at exactly 8:00am on January 2nd:
“Tumblr article…
I saw someone writing about this on Tumblr and it linked to…”
They didn’t even finish! Perhaps they realized that The Vandoo doesn’t own a Tumblr account? Perhaps they realized that websites have no way to draw constructive criticism or positive assessment…or even an actual comment…from flooring?
One of my favourites comes from a user named Harmony Smiley’s Nose Plugs (seriously) who wrote the following:
“Today, I went to the beachfront with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone! Also, please check out my blog http://www.facebook.com/notes/boating-deals-online/review-of-midland-xtc100vp2-640-x-480-standard-definition-extreme-action-camera-/314729848560317“
Again…seriously. This spammer is the royal family of segues. Most of our spammers are identifiable by either their name, their email address, or their tendency to pull these stories out of nowhere and then somehow mention their boating deals blog. Is the deal available because they’re never able to go back to the beach with their daughter, thus freeing up a boat and a slot at the local marina? Maybe we’ll never know. Maybe there are no deals. It’s hard to stomach the fact that someone with such a lucrative nose plug business would need to resort to this. Then again, if nose plugs and boating deals go together better than four year olds and hermit crabs, maybe it’s not a bad idea.
Finally, looking back even further, we come full circle with baby accessories. I’d thought that it couldn’t get worse until I found the names…
Sassy newborn gift set
and
Sassy developmental stim gym play mat
What makes a newborn baby sassy I’ll never know.